What is your thought process of Churches and Second chances, Second marriages?

Day75

I have seen the hardships some of the Christian members are facing in the acceptance of their second marriage by the church, and are forced to find an alternative to their spiritual faith, I questioned the church’s ability to forgive. Some of these members are strong believers of their Christian faith and are accustomed with denomination but due to their unavoidable life circumstances their first marriage was unsuccessful and they have remarried. With a second marriage accepted by the constitution, they are hoping for a second chance in life. Unfortunately, the religious Church have denied the acceptance of this constitutional accepted marriage and restricted the remarried Christians from some spiritual ceremonies.

 So here is my question: What is your thought process of Churches and Second chances, Second marriages?

 I raised this question to one of my childhood friends Mathew Samuel a strong Christian at heart and practice.

Lenji Jacob- This was my inquiring question 

 “Just a Christian perspective or the church orders on giving people second chances. To my understanding forgiveness is one of the biggest lessons that Christ have taught us. Then why do churches give people an extreme hard time when people are looking for second chances? Second marriages? I know of so many cases, where churches have refused people to practice their faith or even be a part of their church constitution? Why does the church forget the biggest lesson of forgiveness? Why do we pray if we don't practice (Mathew : 6) " Forgive us for our sins, just as we have forgiven those who sinned against us." Just a thought process....”

 Mathew Samuel responded:

 “Christ and the Church are not too much different the way I see it. The Church forgives the first time, the second time and every time. When the Church stops forgiving, I do not think it remains as the Church.

However, for forgiveness to happen, the repentance is needed first. In my opinion, that part is what is one huge problem amongst us. We do not repent; we usually just use the Church to get our things done. We see the Church as another Club, like a Rotary Club .I am speaking very generally here, but sometimes, we feel the Church gives us a hard time, because most times we give the Church a hard time. We do not live as the Church commands; we are alien to the life in the Church, to the sacraments, to fasting, to prayers etc.

 Having said that, obviously there are human imperfections in the Church and mistakes are done which need to be corrected. 

 

Specifically about marriages, even the first marriage - the Church is very cautious because there had been abuses earlier. A priest told me of a situation where he married a couple in all sincerity, and as he steps out of the Church, a lady with a child stands outside asking him "what right do you have to marry my husband and my child's father off to another woman?" The priest had no idea the man was previously married. These are situations that have occurred because people have abused the goodwill of the Church. So precautions are in place.  

 

However, I see what you are saying, people, even Church hierarchy can be sometimes insensitive. There are always exceptions, tragedies happen, and we need to move on and we hope the Church deals with us in a sympathetic manner seeing the sincerity of our case. I hope in genuine situations the Church considers the situations and gives us relief, because the Church is a hospital too, where the soul needs to find relief, not a court where judgment is passed.  

 

But sometimes even after our best efforts, our honest tries, things don’t seem to work, and the Church seems too judgmental. All I can say is, since Christ is the Head of the Church, He will make right what the Church has failed to do, if our efforts are indeed sincere, if our prayers are indeed genuine, if our tears are real. So keep up the efforts, prayers and tears, they will bear fruit, please do not lose hope, it may be the resilience that is being tested here - like in the case of the Canaanite woman. 

 

These were just some thoughts that passed by. It may or may not help someone in a particular situation, but hope you see my perspective. (I had initially thought of just messaging you, but then decided to post it here, hoping someone may benefit)”

~Lenji Jacob

~Mathew Samuel

Reference

1.  Picture: http://neverhopeless.com/wp-content/uploads/second-chance2.jpg